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so we are at the crossroads
But I can feel my heart open againIt's opening for you Just come in, and love me back That's all you have to do I must ask you one small thing Before we kiss and part Please be nice and kind to me I'm tired of broken hearts |
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XOXO
X I N Y I 23o689 speak
happyness
2/4
shuling liyi w4tchou7 biwei richard weiling minyu roseline weihong foursevener SJAB fel huihui jjcians lixin jane tommy esther jasmine tzeling qingling roui mayching 06A02 06A02 isabelle germaine yvette jishen 06A03 eunice vithiya archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazy |
being an officer is not as good as wat many think it is. we have to do everything one step ahead. and have to really give up some things. personal time. family time. resting time. really have to commit. i miss the cadets days. dun need to plan anything. just go haha pros and cons i suppose(: i chose this path and there's no turning back(: i miss days when i`m less busy and happier. sometimes, i put on a false front. i wonder, wat is the point is telling the whole world that you`re sad and start whining? why put ur burden on others? i choose to keep them to myself. everytime i reach home, there's always a very 'heavy' feeling. feeling that i haven complete my work. either sjab work or sch work. or that i din try my best at trainings. i hate that feeling but it comes to me so naturally now. being happy and cheery at sch is the way to keep me sane. keep me away from the troubles. period. sometimes i just feel like giving EVERYTHING up. and let everything go. i felt lost at times. and i duno wat to do and yet, i still have to continue to plaster the smile on my face. trust me, pple. there are times when i'm really down but yet. is there a need for me to be so active? can i stop all this? can i just throw everything down and forget it and be a normal student? victor was saying, everyone is getting attached. no, this does not affect me at all. once is enuff. a relationship for two years plus is great and i did enjoy it vey much. but i guess i still miss the feeling of having someone close to you, giving in to ur every need and caring for you only. i felt empty. i AM still feeling empty. i have yet to find someone to talk to bout all these. no, i got great frens ardd me but i can't relate totally to any of them. and yes, i rather keep this to myself. i'm not someone who can just talk to anyone bout my inner most thoughts. i see pple who can talk practically everyone their problems. i can't. sometimes, i get so vexed and piss with everything that i just go to sleep and heck care about everything. but everything starts all over again when i wake up. so sick of everything. i hate to blog bout this but i have to. i have to let all this out before i serious go beserk.
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